13. Denial
(I unintentionally took a rather long break from this because I was facing a rather infuriating wall commonly known as writers block. But I'm back! I'm still not 100% sure I'm over this writers block, but I read recently that you really should write every day, it's like exercising a muscle. So here I am!)
It's so very easy to deny the truth when you don't believe there is absolute truth.
How can you accept something that doesn't exist, right?
But that's the thing with denial, it's refusing to accept the existence of something that does exist.
It's like your mind is trying to rebel against what it knows deep down to be true, or what it knows deep down is eventually going to happen.
I used to deny change.
I'd sit and pretend everything had remained the same when I knew deep down it hadn't.
My bones could feel it, my skin could sense it as it raised into goosebumps.
The hair on the back of my kneck followed the example of my skin, raising on end as if to reach out to the change, to try and see if it were a safe change or not, to figure out what life had become.
The thing with denial is that whatever you're refusing to accept has a funny way of catching up with you, of hunting you down, running up and tackling you. Jumping on your back causing you to stumble in surprise so that you're all of a sudden very sure it exists.
It's so very easy to deny the truth when you don't believe there is absolute truth.
How can you accept something that doesn't exist, right?
But that's the thing with denial, it's refusing to accept the existence of something that does exist.
It's like your mind is trying to rebel against what it knows deep down to be true, or what it knows deep down is eventually going to happen.
I used to deny change.
I'd sit and pretend everything had remained the same when I knew deep down it hadn't.
My bones could feel it, my skin could sense it as it raised into goosebumps.
The hair on the back of my kneck followed the example of my skin, raising on end as if to reach out to the change, to try and see if it were a safe change or not, to figure out what life had become.
The thing with denial is that whatever you're refusing to accept has a funny way of catching up with you, of hunting you down, running up and tackling you. Jumping on your back causing you to stumble in surprise so that you're all of a sudden very sure it exists.
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